physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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