What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
