dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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