Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
