Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
