haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
