i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
