so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
