Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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