New invention idea: vibrating tampons
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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