Pappa wants mamma naked
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
