Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
