There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I need water and some morals
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
