I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
