Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
