So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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