Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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