I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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