I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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