hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
