ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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