fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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