your parents love me but you hate me
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
