Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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