Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
