i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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