matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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