I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
