Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
