Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
