White coat. Heels.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I can't turn off my feet"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
