I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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