I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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