At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
