Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
