i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I wear drunk well.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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