Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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