glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
