Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
