He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Everyone says I win the strip club
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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