I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
