Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
