Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
