Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
