Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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