woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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