Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
What a dumb baby whore.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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