note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
