you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
