He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
